A look into my mind…this is what you might see if I were to keep a journal, or diary, or anything that let me get the thoughts out of my head onto something else, like a blog! It’s kind of crazy and all over the place. enter at your own risk. no lifeguards on duty. beware of the dog.
Workout – I was a bum this morning and totally slept in until 6:30. The alarm went off at 5 and there was no way I was getting out of bed to go to the gym. This was a big risk for me to take. super big. Life of a mom, living on the edge every day. I generally have limited opportunities to get my run in. This morning was my definite, sure thing to get a workout in and I opted for sleep knowing this would bring on complete self induced anxiety about when I would get my run in. This has not been a stellar training week. The, you have a marathon in 6 weeks and you are not at all prepared thoughts keep coming into my head. I would rather keep thinking my April marathon will never actually come and I will have endless amounts of time to train for it. Therefore enabling me to keep putting off speedwork and tempo runs and ignore my training plan until my ideal outdoor weather running is here. hmmmm. I shouldn’t hold my breath. that isn’t going to happen. Funny thing about time, it doesn’t stop. boo. It is now March 1st, which means I will be 30 next month. boo again. and I have to run a couple races next month. that’s fun. This has just been an all around spastic week with little things here and there that seem to be taking up a lot of my time and energy. Probably my precious little cherubs I’m trying to raise into responsible, nice little citizens. Between parent/teacher conferences and kindergarten homework and report cards for 5 year olds that just make you question your parenting capabilities thus far, and playdates and birthday parties and doctor appointments and meal planning and cleaning – I’m a stressball. Just this week. coping skills are not at their finest. I don’t know how I will ever make it through the school years to come. live and learn. adapt. make it work. conference went fine. looks like our little ‘gartner is doing ok. needless to say, I’m kicking myself right now because little gremlin boy is not napping. that was workout plan B – naptime workout. scratch the good run on the treadmill. deathmill. I hate that thing mill. I got one mile in and then found little no napper with his foot stuck in the siderail, wearing his birthday suit. I could have sworn I smelled poop. false alarm. no poop smeared bed. no nap makes running or doing anything productive or necessary, like breathing, nearly impossible. at least he is trying to be productive.
Thanks Luke. I’ve been meaning to fix that handle.
I did end up getting 50 minutes in on the stairmaster, which equals 9 miles including the silly 1 mile on the mill. For some reason I can do the stairmaster when he is harrassing me, but not the treadmill. The treadmill requires way too much mental focus for me to deal with needy children at the same time. Sometimes I can pull it off. Today was not my day. I suited up in appropriate sportswear for the furnace room workout. lots of sweating. lots of fun.
As I’ve said before, I’m really good at stressing about things that really have no impact on anything truly meaningful in life, like race times, impending marathons, and the weather forecast. When I sat down and figured out that it was 6 weeks until the Gansett marathon in April, something clicked in my mind making me frantic about training between now and then. You would think I’m some sort of professional runner the way I spend so much time thinking about running. I’m not. In case you were wondering. I just like to cross my t’s and dot my i’s when thinking about and training for a race. Training for and running marathons, or any race in which I put certain goals and challenging expectations on the line is a great exercise in patience, self-realization and mental strength. I expect a lot of myself in the end result, the actual marathon finish time. I am learning that I don’t expect a lot of myself in the time leading up to getting to where I want to be. I end up trying to put the minimum amount of effort in to get the maximum result. Maybe that’s a result of the amount of actual time I have to train. It’s really not a lot. I don’t say that in a bad way, as much as in a way of I’m learning what my body really can and wants to do versus what I would like for it to do and what other people say it should do to reach the goals I have in mind. I am trying to find a balance there. In the midst of being a mom, a wife, a friend, and living life other than running. This is a hobby. I’m still trying to find what realistically works for me, and what I need to do while keeping this running thing fun.
Life is all about change. I don’t like change. It’s even more about change when you have kids and are bound to more than just yourself and your needs. It’s about adjusting and going with the ebb and flow of circumstances and making them work at that time. About letting things go that aren’t deal breakers and holding on to the things that make me and that are really important to me. It’s about stepping back and looking at the big picture and re-evaluating what is important, and why I have placed certain things high on the list, and whether or not they should or need to be there. And about finding the wisdom to know what they are and not letting other people take them from you. Not so long ago, morning workouts were the bees knees. I couldn’t imagine life without getting up at 5am and getting it done. Right now, that doesn’t work for me. It’s driving me a little crazy that I don’t want to get up early and go to the gym and run. But instead of forcing something that isn’t working right now, or maybe isn’t what I need right now – I’m trying to adjust and come up with what does work. That’s where I am in a bit of a funk with training. I had a good schedule down. and now I’m changing it. working out the kinks and shuffling things around.
I did 5 sssslllloooowww miles yesterday. just 5. I can’t remember the last time I did just 5 miles. It was so nice. And immediately I start thinking I’m going to lose speed for ‘wasting’ 5 miles on a slow, easy run. and only doing 5 miles. really??? Katie, your bod needs those slow, easy miles. My body is definitely telling me to take it easy this week. That’s all there is to it. I resist listening to it. That’s hard for me, because according to my plan, no week especially from here on out is ‘easy’ in regards to miles. I’m feeling the crunch of time between now and April 14th. I think I need to accept the fact that putting in 50+ miles for me a week (or even 40+ for that matter) is not where I need to be, nor is it good for me. I can’t hang with that, and be a functioning human being with 3 little kids and a husband. and a dog. and a house. I need to lower my weekly expectations. Make the most out of the miles I am putting in. Not meaning all out sprinting/speedwork for every one, but planning them and making each mile count, whether it is a fast mile or an easy mile. I will give each week my best and see where they take me. I also LOVE strength training. I’ve been missing it to get in my running workouts. I love how strong I feel after. When I do get a workout at home, my favorite little workout partner joins me. All I have to say is ‘workout video’ and she is dressed and chomping at the bit.
#3 joins in as well. super fun workout party.
I need to include more of the strength into my week – another reason the high-er mileage each week is a stretch. I want a 3 hour marathon. Maybe the April one is it. I’m not doubting that I CAN do it. I know I am capable. I’m just leaving myself open for possibilities. It will definitely be a learning experience and I will go from there – learn more about my running self and what I need to do for the next one. I have time. and I need to be patient. I know I love to run. on the road. and I like to run fast. I am learning that getting fast definitely requires some slow, and some take it easy, and maybe even a whole week of cross training not running at all. this is turning out to be that week. just my thoughts.
whoa. how do you like that for some running/life ramblings?!?! fun! In case you are just joining this little party of a blog, I’m not completely crazy. just sometimes. This happened to be a sort of ‘come into my brain and see what’s going on this week’ post. You can probably gather that this week is all sorts of crazy in my head. going in all different directions. and I’m not even hormonal. tune in a couple weeks from now and you’ll get a real dose of fun. 🙂 the crazy part is over. you survived. we can move onto other things. so here’s some fun stuff. I just got this book – to add to my ever growing list of books to read.
I’m excited to get into this one. I have no idea when. I will probably read the first chapter about 10 times before I actually get through the book. it will happen. and I will be smarter for it. I think I have 3 books going right now. I just pick them up at some random place and try to figure out what is going on.
One of those books is the Runner’s Body by runner’s world.
So good. A staple for every runner. It’s one of those books that I can pick up at a random place and start reading and learn something. Right now I’m learning about racing weight/body composition and fueling for running. Carbs vs. fats. pretty interesting. When I figure it out, I’ll share. I definitely got the carbs/fats part down last night with our little evening snack. I. love. nachos. I used to go to a camp every summer and they made nachos with doritos. pure genius.
we were rationing the avocados. I kid. there was a plethora of avocados on the bottom three layers. 3 layer minimum on nachos. the secret to nachos is adding about half a bag of cheese to each layer, making sure each and every chip has a sufficient amount. that top layer looks a little lacking in the cheese department. my bad.
Good thing we ate these up before I started reading that book above about food. I’m pretty sure Mr. Pollan won’t agree that nachos are an appropriate, healthy late evening food choice. all about balance. gotta splurge when you gotta splurge. try not to make it every day.
To add to my growing reading list, I picked this up at the store.
I actually bought it at newstand price. tragedy. SHAPE was serious about the notices they kept sending me that they would cancel my subscription if I didn’t send them money. I tried to call their bluff, but turns out they don’t give you a grace period if you don’t re-subscribe, or send you a complementary issue for reading them for so long. but, my love for SHAPE magazine runs deep and I had to know why Kate Walsh was naked on the cover. of all people to put naked on the cover, Kate Walsh? they really couldn’t have put a bikini on her like EVERY OTHER cover model they do. don’t get it. I bought it despite naked girl. I’m sure there is some really good info in there. I probably won’t get to it until sometime next week. I’m going to turn it upside down on the counter. she’s making me uncomfortable.
This week’s running is all sorts of hijacked and I don’t know which way is up. Tomorrow is supposed to be a rest day. We’ll see about that tomorrow. Saturday is for sure a long run. I’m looking forward to that. As long as there is no snow in the forecast. or freezing cold weather. or wind. or rain. I’m picky.
How is your running/workout week going?
What is your one favorite magazine that you get or would like to get?
What is the last book you read, or what are you reading now?